Loneliness  

Posted by hidayah


"My loneliness is killing me.... "
Me being lonely? Funny, eh? Aku ada famili kat sini, apa kejadahnya nak feeling2 lonely? Ha.. sure korang cakap camtu, kan... Well, of course I'm glad that I have my family here with me, tapi context loneliness yang akan kukupas dalam entry ni lain...

Bila dah berada jauh diperantauan ni, perasaan ni hadir lagi. Bukan aku yang meminta, tapi secara tiba2. Emosi, orang kata. Dulu aku pernah rasa macam ni sekali. Now is the second time. Isk. Emosi ini buat aku sedih. Sungguh aku tak suka dengan feeling ni. Tapi aku tak reti nak luahkan dengan kata2. Sebab aku bukan jenis itu. Jadi blog nilah tempat aku luahkan segala...

First time...
Masa tu aku undergraduate, lokasinya sama je, di Iowa State ni la... masa aku arrive, tak ramai pun orang melayu. Ada 3 orang lelaki -- Azlan, Shahril dan Rapid. Famili melayu pulak ada satu -- famili kak maya and abg ishak. So masa aku arrive, famili kak fauziah pun arrive sama. So kesimpulannya banyak tu je la kami orang melayu.

At that moment, sungguh terasa loneliness itu. Dahlah bujang, tak de geng. Aku baik je dengan famili kak fauziah and kak maya. But sometimes you need to hang out with friends, and doing stuff. Aku tak nak la susahkan famili2 tu sebab mereka pun dah ada famili, kan... Makanya tercatuk la aku kat Frederikson Court, merenung tingkap dan terasa sgt lonely. Nak join American friends, sgt tak appropriate. Diorang ajak gi bar, hangout. Itu bukan aku. Budak2 cina, sama je. Once in a while ada la join diorang main pool and bowling, but then, once in a while. Sudahnya, aku sendiri lagi... Oh.. and it's not appropriate for me to hang around Azlan, Shahril and Rapid all the time, kan... huhuhuhu... so there.... that was kinda the scenario sblm Sam datang....

Now the loneliness is here. Again. *Sigh*. Kali ni aku datang bawak famili. Syukur. At least the loneliness part of missing family is partly settled. Wait till mama and daddy come, then it's fully settled. Loneliness ini takde kaitan dgn famili. Agaknya about me. Isk isk, Sungguh complicated utk aku nyatakan. Bila duduk2 tu, aku teringat. Jauh. Sesekali terusik gak hati ni. Teringat kat kawan2. Apa khabar agaknya korang ek? Especially orang2 kat KPTM. Entah ingat ntah tidak. Kenangan itu datang lagi, Hang out together, sembang2, makan sesama. Rindu sungguh saat itu. For those people who knows me, aku suka bercerita, gosip2, bual2 kosong... hehehe... kan best kalau momen2 itu ada di sini... memang aku ada famili... but then there are always time that I need to talk to somebody.. saja2 je... sembang2.... other than Zairi and Adik. I guess my point is, I'm missing my girlfriends... and that is when the loneliness starts to come again...

It's been 4 months now since we arrived here. Alhamdulillah we got to learn many things. I learn a great deal about friendship, and many more. Thanks a lot to the people here that makes us feel at home. Terharu sgt. You guys know who you are. Kami amat menghargainya... we always feel that we are being left out most of the time, but then, I hope it was just a feeling. All in all, we are truly happy here, and enjoying our lives at the fullest..

Disclaimer: Entry ini adalah luahan hati penulis semata-mata dan tidak berniat menyinggung mana2 pihak.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 12, 2009 and is filed under . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .
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7 comments

Kamarul n Hartini  
May 12, 2009 at 11:48 AM

Dayah jgn sedih2. Aku pun kdg2 mcm ko gak rasa lonely wpun the whole family ader. Aku pun mmg rindu saat2 ko ader kat sini.

noniey  
May 12, 2009 at 12:03 PM

memang betul ah dayah.. memang terasa sgt ko takde.. dulu, selalu lepak2 bilik ko, menjerit2 bercerita sampai kat luar pun dengar wpun dah tutup pintu, rindu nak melopong bukak mulut dengar ko bercerita dgn gaya yang memang takde dah orang lain bleh kalah, dengan cerita yang detail giler, memang rindu ah..

skrang ni pun kalau gi mana2, makan steamboat ke, mesti cakap, 'kalau dayah ada ni, mesti best'..

takpe, lagi 2 tahun lebih je.. sekejap je tu..

SfKn  
May 12, 2009 at 2:08 PM

cepatlah balik..mesti awak tak lonely lagi!!

Yummy Yum  
May 12, 2009 at 6:22 PM

we all miss u too dayah...tu la kalau ada gossip mesti best dengar dari ko..ko cerita macam kitorang tengok tv...melopong mulut sorang2..abis tu jerit2 gelak2..we really missing that part...nak kena tunggu lagi 3 tahun ni baru dapat rewind momen2 itu

l i e y n  
May 13, 2009 at 11:03 AM

dayah,
sedih gak baca entry ko kali ni...
walaupun kita ada family tapi kawan pun penting gak kalau nak cite or luahkan apa2....
teringat masa kita sama2 berjemaah 'memerah'...banyak le cite yang kuar....
kalau ada cite apa2 mesti sume masuk bilik ko gosip2....
hopefully bila dayah dah jadi dr nnti ko still tak berubah....
tetiba aku rasa sebak!

Neeza Shahril  
May 13, 2009 at 6:20 PM

memula dulu akak rasa cam tu gak.. tapi since dah ramai malaysia dan dah selalu kami bergathering.. once a week is a must, adalah tempat kengkawan yang sekepala untuk bermanja, untuk bercerita..

take care ya.. try buat something so that you could forget the feeling of loneliness tu..

hidayah  
May 25, 2009 at 1:56 PM

thanks ye kawan2...di atas keprihatinan korang...

aku mmg mcmni.. once in awhile aku mmg akan rasa lonely...:) but it's getting better now..

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Loneliness  

written by hidayah


"My loneliness is killing me.... "
Me being lonely? Funny, eh? Aku ada famili kat sini, apa kejadahnya nak feeling2 lonely? Ha.. sure korang cakap camtu, kan... Well, of course I'm glad that I have my family here with me, tapi context loneliness yang akan kukupas dalam entry ni lain...

Bila dah berada jauh diperantauan ni, perasaan ni hadir lagi. Bukan aku yang meminta, tapi secara tiba2. Emosi, orang kata. Dulu aku pernah rasa macam ni sekali. Now is the second time. Isk. Emosi ini buat aku sedih. Sungguh aku tak suka dengan feeling ni. Tapi aku tak reti nak luahkan dengan kata2. Sebab aku bukan jenis itu. Jadi blog nilah tempat aku luahkan segala...

First time...
Masa tu aku undergraduate, lokasinya sama je, di Iowa State ni la... masa aku arrive, tak ramai pun orang melayu. Ada 3 orang lelaki -- Azlan, Shahril dan Rapid. Famili melayu pulak ada satu -- famili kak maya and abg ishak. So masa aku arrive, famili kak fauziah pun arrive sama. So kesimpulannya banyak tu je la kami orang melayu.

At that moment, sungguh terasa loneliness itu. Dahlah bujang, tak de geng. Aku baik je dengan famili kak fauziah and kak maya. But sometimes you need to hang out with friends, and doing stuff. Aku tak nak la susahkan famili2 tu sebab mereka pun dah ada famili, kan... Makanya tercatuk la aku kat Frederikson Court, merenung tingkap dan terasa sgt lonely. Nak join American friends, sgt tak appropriate. Diorang ajak gi bar, hangout. Itu bukan aku. Budak2 cina, sama je. Once in a while ada la join diorang main pool and bowling, but then, once in a while. Sudahnya, aku sendiri lagi... Oh.. and it's not appropriate for me to hang around Azlan, Shahril and Rapid all the time, kan... huhuhuhu... so there.... that was kinda the scenario sblm Sam datang....

Now the loneliness is here. Again. *Sigh*. Kali ni aku datang bawak famili. Syukur. At least the loneliness part of missing family is partly settled. Wait till mama and daddy come, then it's fully settled. Loneliness ini takde kaitan dgn famili. Agaknya about me. Isk isk, Sungguh complicated utk aku nyatakan. Bila duduk2 tu, aku teringat. Jauh. Sesekali terusik gak hati ni. Teringat kat kawan2. Apa khabar agaknya korang ek? Especially orang2 kat KPTM. Entah ingat ntah tidak. Kenangan itu datang lagi, Hang out together, sembang2, makan sesama. Rindu sungguh saat itu. For those people who knows me, aku suka bercerita, gosip2, bual2 kosong... hehehe... kan best kalau momen2 itu ada di sini... memang aku ada famili... but then there are always time that I need to talk to somebody.. saja2 je... sembang2.... other than Zairi and Adik. I guess my point is, I'm missing my girlfriends... and that is when the loneliness starts to come again...

It's been 4 months now since we arrived here. Alhamdulillah we got to learn many things. I learn a great deal about friendship, and many more. Thanks a lot to the people here that makes us feel at home. Terharu sgt. You guys know who you are. Kami amat menghargainya... we always feel that we are being left out most of the time, but then, I hope it was just a feeling. All in all, we are truly happy here, and enjoying our lives at the fullest..

Disclaimer: Entry ini adalah luahan hati penulis semata-mata dan tidak berniat menyinggung mana2 pihak.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 12, 2009 and is filed under . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .
Filed under

7 comments

Kamarul n Hartini  
May 12, 2009 at 11:48 AM

Dayah jgn sedih2. Aku pun kdg2 mcm ko gak rasa lonely wpun the whole family ader. Aku pun mmg rindu saat2 ko ader kat sini.

noniey  
May 12, 2009 at 12:03 PM

memang betul ah dayah.. memang terasa sgt ko takde.. dulu, selalu lepak2 bilik ko, menjerit2 bercerita sampai kat luar pun dengar wpun dah tutup pintu, rindu nak melopong bukak mulut dengar ko bercerita dgn gaya yang memang takde dah orang lain bleh kalah, dengan cerita yang detail giler, memang rindu ah..

skrang ni pun kalau gi mana2, makan steamboat ke, mesti cakap, 'kalau dayah ada ni, mesti best'..

takpe, lagi 2 tahun lebih je.. sekejap je tu..

SfKn  
May 12, 2009 at 2:08 PM

cepatlah balik..mesti awak tak lonely lagi!!

Yummy Yum  
May 12, 2009 at 6:22 PM

we all miss u too dayah...tu la kalau ada gossip mesti best dengar dari ko..ko cerita macam kitorang tengok tv...melopong mulut sorang2..abis tu jerit2 gelak2..we really missing that part...nak kena tunggu lagi 3 tahun ni baru dapat rewind momen2 itu

l i e y n  
May 13, 2009 at 11:03 AM

dayah,
sedih gak baca entry ko kali ni...
walaupun kita ada family tapi kawan pun penting gak kalau nak cite or luahkan apa2....
teringat masa kita sama2 berjemaah 'memerah'...banyak le cite yang kuar....
kalau ada cite apa2 mesti sume masuk bilik ko gosip2....
hopefully bila dayah dah jadi dr nnti ko still tak berubah....
tetiba aku rasa sebak!

Neeza Shahril  
May 13, 2009 at 6:20 PM

memula dulu akak rasa cam tu gak.. tapi since dah ramai malaysia dan dah selalu kami bergathering.. once a week is a must, adalah tempat kengkawan yang sekepala untuk bermanja, untuk bercerita..

take care ya.. try buat something so that you could forget the feeling of loneliness tu..

hidayah  
May 25, 2009 at 1:56 PM

thanks ye kawan2...di atas keprihatinan korang...

aku mmg mcmni.. once in awhile aku mmg akan rasa lonely...:) but it's getting better now..

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